Book Review: It Ends with Us

It's been two years of me being generally inactive with blog. I still check on it from time to time, but I can never find the motivation to actually write anything. Nonetheless, I have finally returned from my lengthy slumber, and return I have with none other than....... a book review! Yay... cough. Anyways, it's not just any book review, but a book review of one of the most awfully written books, with one of the most poorly laid out plotlines that I have ever read; yet somehow, it managed to grab unto me and refused to let me go. Honestly, it was so bad that I just couldn't put it down. I felt like I had to write this review because some of the themes and topics in the book provoked my interests, and some things I just couldn't let go until I had written it down. Hence why I'm here. I am hardly an expert on matters such as these, so please take everything I say as nothing more than my personal opinions and reflections- my perspective.

DISCLAIMER: THIS REVIEW HAS SPOILERS

First Impressions

At first, I had absolutely no interest in this book at all. I quite frankly did not want to read it- I didn't even know why; it simply seemed like a waste of time from just the cover, and I know, I know, "don't judge a book by its cover", but I'll have you know that it wasn't just that. I first found It Ends With Us on 'booktok'... yes, the tik tok bookclub for people that claim they're seeking to advertise underknown books and connect with people of the same interests, when it's really just an echo chamber of children and adults alike, trying to show off their extensive libraries and repeatedly recommending books that, honestly, aren't very good. Of course there are always exceptions, but I don't think I can be blamed for being a bit sceptical about any book recommended on that perverse app. However, its popularity rapidly increased and soon my friends were ceaselessly chirping on and on about it (like seriously, they wouldn't stop). So, I decided to read a summary about it on google- which made me want to read it even less. In the end though, I conceded to the crowd and ended up buying it. And honestly, it was even worse than I had expected.

The book starts with our main character, Lily, casually hanging over the side of a ledge and thinking about suicide. Which, I must admit, is a very compelling way to start a book, however, if you're not going to even mention suicide ever again in that context, what was the point? Like, the book starts with "As I sit here with one foot on either side of the ledge... I can’t help but think about suicide. I’m more focused on other people, and how they ultimately come to the decision to just end their own lives. Do they ever regret it?"

This is a very deep concept, though quite under-developed (in my opinion) in teen romances, and should've been expanded on if it was going to be put at the very beginning of the book! Even if it was just one of her inner passing thoughts, I still feel like such a profound thought, shouldn't have been merely a passing ponder. I understand that not all books have a cyclical structure, and topics that actually held weight in the events of the book were brought up quite a lot ('Just keep swimming' for example), however, the spontaneity of that beginning scene was too much. Especially since the author never mentions suicide ever again.

sigh. Moving on. It turns out she's there because she needed a quiet space to think and look at the night sky while feeling the grandeur and magnificent weight of the universe; and hanging off the ledge of a twelve story building is evidently the best way to get that.

Anyways, she's still there on the ledge of a... penthouse roof? when she hears this guy coming in. She's a bit pissed because how dare he disrupt her existential reflections, but she decides not to disturb him. He seems to her to be in the middle of a breakdown- just as she previously was- and she watches him violently attempt to completely thrash a patio chair; an endeavour which we both agreed was sort of pathetic. Like seriously, the guy and the chair were going 1 v 1 and somehow the chair was winning-

Her first thought as she watches this is the resemblance his actions hold to that of her late father. Now we don't really know very much about him from this point, except that she had just given a eulogy about him that some would say was epic and others (her mother to be exact) would say was disastrous. However, as I said before, I had spoiled myself a little before I started reading, and I KNEW who he was and what he had done. So let me just get this straight for you guys. She met this guy for the first time, barging into her peaceful, not-so-suicidal contemplations about suicide (-_-), and the FIRST thing she thought as she watched him wrestle with a marine-grade polymer chair, was the time her father did exactly that. Her father. The one who was abusive to her mother and a massively horrible father-figure to her. The man who beat up her "friend" on the day that he came to surprise her on her birthday, so badly that he ended up in the hospital. The whole reason she was even on the ledge in the first place... Now, I don't know about you, but if when I meet a guy, the first thing I'm reminded of is someone I knew who was abusive- someone I hated the most in the WORLD- that would be an immediate red flag and biiiig no no. His shrubs, however, were obviously too tempting to resist.

When he finally notices her in the process of bringing out and lighting a joint of CANNABIS to SMOKE (doctor btw), he stops and narrows his eyes at her. Probably thinking "oh shi is this a suicide scene?" No don't worry Ryle, she's just thinking. Anyways, he very kindly request for her to get down because he doesn't want to witness a death; and she does, because...yeah I would say that's quite a valid justification. I'm sorry, I just can't get over how ridiculous this situation is to me... like imagine just casually strolling up to your sister's penthouse roof, you've had a bad day, you just want some fresh air and then you see someone sitting over the ledge and looking up to the sky. You panic, hoping beyond hope that you're not witnessing the loss of a life, yet it turn out that they were simply ruminating about life while one misstep away from losing their own, AS IF IT WAS A COMMON OCCURRENCE. And who even goes up to a random person's penthouse roof? "Yeah I'm feeling a little sad, I'm just going to go pop up to my local penthouse and gaze at the stars!"

Oh my... God help me.

Anyways, they talk for a while, bond a bit and indulge a little in this game called 'Naked Truths', where they each take turns telling a truth that most wouldn't divulge, or something that they need to get off their chests. And honestly, it was adorable. Absolutely adorable. It gave me actual hope for the book, and even made me giggle a little bit. That was until... he told his naked truth. He told her, a person whom he'd met just 20 minutes ago, that he wanted to... um conduct sexual activities with her- basically sleep with her.

And that's where I had to pause, because I knew in the end that all romance books eventually degraded into this. Why is it seen as arousing and exciting for a male character in a book or a show to suddenly instigate romance, even when it is heavily unprecedented and quite often creepy? Like, I don't care if you're a hot, rich vampire that I've never met: I do not want to be kidnapped, I most definitely do not want to kiss you, and please take me home dammit!

She was, quite justifiably, befuddled but continued on as if nothing happened- like a champ. They continue sharing truths, yet he still brings it up; and when she refuses, he coerces her with his allurement (that she so easily falls prey to) into participating in provocative actions (I'm trying to keep this PG). And then tops it all off by taking a picture of her WITHOUT HER CONSENT. She doesn't object, but she never gave the say so either. And that's another thing that I find strange: the female characters never ever value themselves enough to object, neither do they value their intellect enough to think through the complications and potential dangers of submitting themselves to a man they either don't know, or certainly shouldn't like. Seriously. Not all women in real life are like this; so why are we constantly portrayed as if we can't think for ourselves when facing a man? And why do they always treat us so horribly in popularised fiction and yet it's made 'okay' because they still love us on the inside? Like no. Stop. Consent and kindness and basic human respect is beautiful- learn it. A man could never treat a woman like some of these men do in real life and expect not to be single. And yes, some women do allow men to treat them like this (or unfortunately sometimes, do not have a choice), but it should still in no way be fetishized and most certainly SHOULD NOT be normalised.

All in all, the first chapter of this book did not give me a good impression of what was yet to come, but still I continued on (despite my sanity). This is the impact that the characters had on me.

The Characters

Before I go onto the main theme, I'm going to talk about some of the characters and what I thought about them, whether or not I liked them and if they felt interesting and real.

So we have Lily, Ryle, Atlas- the main characters- and I will add ALYSSA BECAUSE SHE'S A SLAY QUEEN!

Starting with Lily Bloom, I have very little to say about her. She somewhat disappointed me honestly; I could sympathise with her and I admit she was very strong in the conclusive chapters of the book. However, who here can raise up their hands and state that they managed to read through the entire book without one facepalm or having to put down the book, or just inwardly cringing? None? One... two oh we've go three. Okay well that explains how I thought of her as a character (and honestly the book as a whole).

She actively pushed her naivety and uncertainty unto us- which I honestly don't mind, as it's understandable that a person would have inward anxieties as they go through life, but she was just so... predictable. Unexceptional. Honestly quite stupid. Some of her decisions were so... out of place with how things are supposed to function and how a wise human being is supposed to think, that sometimes I wondered if she even understood fully what was going on... in her OWN LIFE. Her decision at the end of the book, I heavily respected. Her whole epiphany thing with marriage and women and abuse victims as a whole was kind of cool. The snooker game (or whatever it was) that she played with Atlas's friends was... interesting. I appreciated her business. But honestly, she was unexceptional. She's one of those character's that I'd have forgotten by now if it wasn't for the popularity of Atlas and Ryle and the book she was in. I wish she had done more... and stopped blaming everyone for whatever went wrong in her life. On a whole I'd rate her 5/10. Not bad, especially by the end of the book, but not good enough for a protagonist.

Next is Ryle Kincaid, and honestly, all I can say is I was right. Like I knew from the VERY BEGINNING that he was no good. He was arrogant, self-seeking, narcissistic, selfish, always had to have his own way, and HEAVILY flawed. However, one thing I applaud the author for, is how she managed to make me love him. Yes, the abuser with serious anger issues (no offence to the few Ryle stans that I know exist). I found myself empathising with Lily in regards to him. What shocked me, and was entirely unexpected since I had gauged myself beforehand to hate him, was how much I felt for Ryle. Don't get me wrong, I wanted her to do what she did, and he was definitely in the wrong, but he wasn't a really nasty person. He was hugely flawed, damaged, and could barely control his emotions, but there was no doubt in my mind that he loved her. Probably too much which is where his issues stemmed from. Overall, I would rate him (as a character- not for what he did) a 7.9/10.

I even remember feeling (especially when he cried after the birth of their baby) that I would've taken him back, despite all he had done.

This was a horrible thought and I loathed it the second it came. But nonetheless, it did, and I think what put me in so much conflict was how little I felt for his adversary and Lily's main love interest, Atlas Corrigan.

Now for Atlas I had a very low emotional connection with him and I think that was a mishap on the author's part. The only introduction we had to this man were the ridiculous letters to Ellen DeGeneres; which I must admit were cute at the beginning, but very quickly degraded to a literary level of a primary school child, as well as losing all plot and becoming frankly quite tedious to read. I found myself dreading every time they came. I also wondered how she managed to remember every detail of what happened days after it did, when I can't even remember what I had for dinner yesterday. And like the letters, past Atlas also lost all novelty with me. He was cute in the beginning when she'd just found him and their relationship was at its tender stages, but something changed and I began to lose interest. I think I had had too much of a high expectation meeting him and when he failed to reach that, I just didn't care for him anymore. Albeit the tree scene was sweet, nothing else he said held any weight to his character (and again this may have been due to authors subpar writing), but it was all quite juvenile to me. He was 18 years old, yet he sounded like a pubescent teenager.

And when we meet him in the present, the very first thing he does is lock himself in a stall with Lily and slap her boyfriend........sir this is Wendy's. And I understand that he was worried for her after seeing the bruises on her skin, but there were much better ways to deal with the situation and I believe he should've respected her enough not to cause a scene and arouse suspicion from her boyfriend. What he did created a rift between her and Ryle that capitalised on Ryle's jealousy and possessiveness, and was the root of their relationship's insecurities and instability at its core. Considering he's know her for so long and so intimately before, he sure did act like an idiot. An immature one at that. But.... he's cute... and kind... and he obviously cared for her, so imma let it slide. I rate him... an 8/10. Despite me caring very little about him as a character; as a person and for all he did on Lily's behalf, I do love him. He's sweet. We need more sweet male leads like him.

And now... the moment we've all been waiting for... the TRUE main character... Allysa who quite strangely, doesn't have a last name- or rather the author decided not to disclose it to us. Allysa was the only character that I actually liked as both a character AND a person. I believe she played the role of the 'rich best friend who is also your sister-in-law' soo well and honestly, I wouldn't mind her as a sister-in-law in real life! She's so down to Earth and simple, and when it come down to it, quite relatable as well. Her husband also accentuated her character in more than one good way, and I found myself more interested in THEIR relationship than Lily's. Her unconditional love and support for Lily did nothing but make me love her more. All in all, 10/10! I just wish we got to see more scenes with her and Marshall: literally couple goals.

A deeper dive: the book's themes and big topics

The book's main theme was domestic abuse and it tackled it in a way that I believe was very mature. Particularly Lily's way of handling the situation she was in. Its message and themes of domestic abuse are quite powerful, and I feel the way Colleen managed to portray it within the casual and quite laid-back premise of the book's plot was (I must confess) very well-thought-out.

I think it made a very powerful point in the way that often a lot of women can't find the inner courage to leave their abusers, and it's not society's place to judge them. Lily was very strong, and I have a lot of respect for her in that aspect. I also realise that with how mainstream this book is now, and its mass circulation amongst young people, many people will learn more about domestic abuse and I think that that's a very powerful message to give. All in all, her execution of this message I will give a... 10/10.

Would I recommend?

Hmmm... welll, that's... it depends. This was one of the books that I would read, think about for an hour, and then forget about it. It took me 2 pain-staking weeks just to finish it... Honestly, it wasn't that bad, and its underlying message was powerful, but as a dramatic romance book it was just a little bit disappointing. With its popularity, I kind of expected something more.

Pros of the book:

• It's entertaining I'll give it that

• It starts to get better near the end despite its relatively frustrating start

• The characters are quite entertaining, and can be relatable sometimes

• If you're looking for a casual romantic read with a deep message behind it- I would recommend

Cons:

• The characters are frustratingly stupid

• The plot for a while is pretty mundane

• The Ellen letters were... well. They were a challenge to read.

• There's just something... off about it.

Everything was just so slow and painful and really only at the verrry end did I start to enjoy the book.

I feel like if this book was written in a more mature style, it would have had potential. But the way Colleen delivered the book I believe was a little sloppy. Sorry Colleen

Just keep swimming: a final outlook

As a disclaimer, I would just like to say that everything I say is my personal opinion. Personally, I didn't prefer the book, but that does not mean that you will not like it. I won't tell you not to read it if you really want to, but I personally did not quite enjoy it.

Thank you so much for reading this review, and God bless you.

Edit: Okay so at the time of me reading this, I found out that 'It starts with us', Colleen Hoover's prequel has come out, and honestly, I'm a bit sceptical about the concept of a prequel when the whole premise of the first book was that it was the END of the domestic abuse cycle... but I might read it. Just to see; I am a bit curious after all. ;p